Fuck Seattle and fuck standing in lines. Fuck standing in line at the bus stop. Fuck standing in line at the bar. Fuck standing in line in any situation where Seattleites are waiting to do something. And especially, fuck standing in line an hour early at the airport gate on a flight to Seattle because [...]
Fuck Seattle and fuck slow drivers in the left lane. You know the scenario. Enter freeway on ramp, increase speed to 45 mph, begin merging onto freeway, cut off right lane driver, increase speed to 60 mph, move to middle lane, move to left lane, move to HOV lane, decrease speed to 45 mph. What [...]
Fuck Seattle and fuck talking about the weather. Have you heard it's going to be sunny tomorrow? Yeah, asshole. I heard it from my flannel-clad, ironically-mustached, vegan barista. I heard it from the lady walking her gluten-free dog. I heard it all up and down my super hip, totally friendly but way self-righteous Seattle Twitter feed. And I [...]
Fuck Seattle and fuck parking on the wrong damn side of the street. Don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about. It's called the wrong side of the street for a fucking reason, asshole. You know, ass-to-ass, nose-to-nose, facing oncoming traffic with your driver's side door to the curb. And maybe it wouldn't [...]
Fuck Seattle and fuck the fucking piss poor cell service. And while you're at it, fuck those fucking Verizon wireless commercials and their America's largest coverage maps. I don't give a shit if you have coverage in Paducah, Kentucky. How about covering a major metropolitan city with 600,000+ people? Because you know what, Seattle? You [...]
