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Fuck Seattle and Fuck Slow Drivers in The Left Lane

Fuck Seattle and Fuck Slow Drivers in The Left Lane

Fuck Seattle and fuck slow drivers in the left lane. You know the scenario. Enter freeway on ramp, increase speed to 45 mph, begin merging onto freeway, cut off right lane driver, increase speed to 60 mph, move to middle lane, move to left lane, move to HOV lane, decrease speed to 45 mph. What the fucking fuck. Hey asshole, if you’re getting passed on the right hand side, move the fuck over. If there’s a long line of cars behind you and no one in front of you, get the fuck over. If every time you get on the fucking freeway someone break checks you in the far left lane, get your fiucking head out of your Suburu seated ass and learn how to fucking drive.

Of course, a consequence of all this is that the right lane becomes a fucking obstacle laden artery of death defying dressage. Approaching an on ramp? Slam on your breaks. Approaching an off ramp? Slam on those fucking breaks. Why? Because the self-absorbed, suddenly frantic guy on your left is exiting from the middle lane, and the inconsiderate lane-hogging piece of shit on your right is merging into the HOV. In other words, you’re fucking fucked until you either exit the freeway or stab yourself in the fucking eye to avoid any more driving in this fucking hell hole. Godspeed, my out-of-town drivers. Godspeed.

Comments on this entry are closed.

  • Mike Shin

    Worst shit in the fucking world. No one up here can drive. You have to pass for them because they cannot figure it out themselves. Seriously, give it a shot: pass for them, it works. The worst part is that they will also get pissed off if you tail gate them, when they tail gate like crazy! I saw a 5 car fender bender up here, there’s only one way that can happen: 5 people tailgating the shit out of each other.