Fuck Seattle and fuck parking on the wrong damn side of the street. Don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about. It’s called the wrong side of the street for a fucking reason, asshole. You know, ass-to-ass, nose-to-nose, facing oncoming traffic with your driver’s side door to the curb. And maybe it wouldn’t really matter, but your narrow ass, windy, lack-of-any-stop-sign streets make driving a fucking guessing game. I don’t know whether it’s a two way street, one way my way, or I’m about to collide head first into a busted ass 1989 Honda Accord, because everyone is parked all willy fucking nilly.
Now if traffic fucking enforcement ever, oh, I don’t know, enforced the fucking law, it would entail a $47 fine. And I’m no hard-ass, by-the-book, follow-the-rules kind of person, but when you wait for the fucking pedestrian light to change, refuse to jaywalk, lambaste me for not recycling correctly, and force me to fucking compost my pizza crusts, I find it all a bit fucking ridiculous. Hey Seattle, let’s tackle the simple notion of parking while facing the correct direction before we try to save the fucking world from itself.
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